Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (2012 version)

ACT I
Interior of Congressman Smith's house in Washington. Congressman Smith is a freshman Tea Party Representative. The Congressman enters, greeted by his 4 year old son, Johnny.

Johnny: Hi daddy, what did you do in Congress today?

Smith: Today we had a very important vote to repeal Obamacare.

Johnny: What's Obamacare?

Smith: Son, don't you remember when I explained to you how those awful Democrats passed a law two years ago to help everyone get health insurance?

Johnny: Oh yeah, I think I remember. What's so bad about health insurance again, daddy?

Smith: It's not that health insurance is so bad. We have health insurance, and that's a good thing. It's just that we don't think the government should be helping people get health insurance.

Johnny: But doesn't the government give us health insurance?

Smith: Well, that's just because I happen to work for the government right now. But that doesn't mean that everybody should have health insurance.

Johnny: Why not?

Smith: Because that's not what our founding fathers fought the Revolution for.

Johnny: Wow. We fought the Revolution so Americans wouldn't have health insurance? That means you're just like those Revolutionary War soldiers fighting to keep Americans from having health insurance.

Smith: That's right.

Johnny: So now that you repealed Obamacare, all those people who don't deserve health insurance won't have it any more, so that's good, right?

Smith: Actually, it's not quite that simple. Today the House repealed Obamacare, but that's only the first step. Next, the Senate also has to pass the bill, and then the president has to sign it for it to become a law.

Johnny: So tomorrow the Senate will repeal Obamacare then, right? 

Smith: Probably not. The Senate doesn't seem to want to repeal Obamacare. And even if the Senate did that, President Obama is never going to sign a bill repealing Obamacare. It was his idea in the first place.

Johnny: So how come you passed a bill if you know it can never become a law?

Smith: Anybody ever tell you that you ask a lot of questions? Look, sometimes you have to take a stand, even if you don't succeed this time. So that's why we keep passing this bill.

Johnny: You mean this is the second time the House passed this bill?

Smith: Son, you don't send a message by just doing something once or twice. You have to keep on fighting.

Johnny: So how many times have you voted to repeal Obamacare then, daddy?

Smith: Uh, . . . today will make the 33rd time we voted to repeal Obamacare.

Johnny: That's a lot, dad! My nursery school teacher told one of the other kids he should stop banging his head against the wall after the third time.

Smith: Maybe that's enough to make your point in nursery school, son, but national politics is serious business. We're probably going to vote to repeal Obamacare at least ten more times before the election.

Johnny: Gee dad, how do you get anything else done if you have so many votes to repeal Obamacare?

Smith: We work really hard, and we get a lot of important things done. Do you know how many times we voted to defund Planned Parenthood?

Johnny: Cool! Does that mean I'm going to get a little brother or sister soon, dad?

Smith: Like I tried to explain, kid, it's not that simple. I think that's enough questions for tonight.

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