Monday, February 7, 2011

Pre-Game Interview

For those who missed Bill O'Reilly's pre-game interview with President Obama yesterday, here is a transcript:

Q: First of all, Mr. President, I want to thank the State Department for helping to protect some of our Fox News employees in Egypt.

A: You're quite welcome, Bill, although we did consider for a moment staying out of the way and letting Fox people fend for themselves, since Fox is always advocating less government interference with business.

Q: Why can't you even show enough respect for the office of the Presidency to wear a tie?

A: Bill, it's Super Sunday. You're the only guy in America right now who is wearing a tie.

Q: A lot of people are saying that you have shifted to the center since the midterm elections. Have you finally started to recognize the power of the dark side?

A: I think I am just going to smile and let you ask your next question.

Q: OK, well what about the health care act? What are you going to do when it is repealed, if it's not declared unconstitutional first?

A: Bill, you seem to forget that I have this power called the veto. Also I used to teach constitutional law.

Q: Why haven't you fixed this situation in Egypt yet? The American people are demanding that you convert all those Egyptians to Christianity, and make sure they don't make any trouble for us.

A: Really, I thought that Americans are in favor of free speech and religious tolerance.

Q: Not the ones who watch our network. But finally, Mr. President, doesn't it bother you that everyone hates you?

A: I'm not sure that everyone hates me.

Q: Oh yes, we've been telling our viewers that everyone hates you for quite some time, so it must be true.

A: Well Bill, much as I'm reluctant to question the journalistic accuracy of Fox News, I have to remind you that not everyone watches it. Plus, don't you think that if you started to tell the truth about me, even your viewers might cut me a little slack?

Q: That would not be good for our ratings, Mr. President. Thank you for your time.

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